The last few weeks I've felt like I've just been spinning around, carried around in a circle around the same point. Some of it is just exhaustion -- between the heat and horrible allergies, plus a lot of random extra shifts at work, I feel like I haven't really slept in weeks. But a lot of it is waiting in limbo. I was waiting for a second job, waiting to find out if I got money for school, waiting and waiting.
Wednesday I got a lovely shock. Although my financial aid appeal was approved, I didn't get enough money to cover even one semester due to be near my federal loan limit. At first I thought, no big deal! I'll just keep looking for a second job, keep trying to put together the funds for a trip to the UK in November.
And then I found out that if you drop your classes after the first day, you have to pay 25% of tuition! WTF! So I was absolutely panicking. I could either drop my classes and pay a fuckton of money for nothing, or stay in and end up with a massive bill at the end of the semester. Fabulous.
I was going with option two, especially since I found out there were a few extra sources of money I could get--but I won't find out about those until it would be too late to drop out entirely. But I was seriously unhappy. Between the financial concerns and my depression related to not getting to see a-ha again because of this mess, I was very unhappy.
I went to my classes yesterday, and it just felt wrong. It felt like the wrong thing to be doing. It wasn't because I was bored, or even the depression. It just felt .... scratchy and uncomfortable. And then I found out that if I keep a measly one credit class, I don't have to pay the 25% tuition. I do have to pay for that credit out of pocket, but it's still less. I can go back in spring, knowing exactly what I'll have for funds.
And of course, that has the side effect of maybe I can still see a-ha. Which definitely makes me feel happier.
Then I was woken up this morning by somebody here to shut off my natural gas. So I've jumped on to another merry-go-round, of finances. At least it's a slightly different view.