I held a coworker's month-old son today. Third time I've seen the baby, but the first without his mother, who gives off a vibe of "don't touch my kid" combined with a "what the fuck is this thing" attitude. Very odd.
Anyway, his daddy brought him in today, and I asked to hold it. It's just What Chicks Do when there's a baby around, right? So he handed me the baby, and I very carefully supported his head and all, and after about a minute I handed him back because he was fussing. And as usual, I didn't get even a distant flicker of those gushy feelings it seems like all other woman get. His little toes and fingernails and his baby skin and his soft mop of hair didn't trigger any of that maternal crap in me. Which is normal, for me. Sometimes I just like to check. I am 28, supposedly something should be ticking by now, right?
I also have belatedly realized that I asked if I could hold "the little bean." I meant bean like "human bean", which is what my family always says. He probably thought I was being racist since he's Mexican. Oops.