One of our managers at the restaurant was killed in a car wreck last week. I didn't know him well; he was new, and I'd only worked with him a handful of times. Once the initial shock passed, I wasn't very upset, until I read in the newspaper that the cops suspected alcohol was involved.
That reminded me of all the times I worried about my dad drinking and driving, as he did consistently when I was a kid. I thought about all the times that I would be huddled in bed, waiting for him to come home, wondering if he was just late or if he had had an accident. I was already feeling emotional that day because of other things, so it really was bothering me.
I had to stop to see him on my way to my evening job, and all I wanted to do was give him a hug and tell him that I love him. But before I could do that, he jumped my ass about my trip to England and started berating me about how dangerous and stupid and irresponsible it was, and that he wasn't giving me any money for my trip. Then he dismissed me without even saying goodbye. I started sobbing, and he thought I was trying to butter him up about it; when I told him what I was actually upset about ... he continued to be an ass! Basically he said people die, there was no reason to be upset, I hardly knew this person, I was being foolish, he doesn't drink and drive anymore so why was I upset. I tried to hug him and he just stood there, hands on his sides, elbows sticking out, and looked at me.
I cried the hour and a half to my job; then some more after I got there; then some more on the way home. A week later and I'm still so angry at him!
Oh Honey. :(
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