This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of NMEDA. All opinions are 100% mine.

I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive, but I've always wondered where people with disabilities get cars they drive with hand pedals, etc. I've never seen a dealership for them, or advertisements for them. And I didn't know about NMEDA, a non-profit organization that promotes safer transportation for the disabled. They don't sell anything themselves; instead they certify dealers to offer safe vehicles that meet National Highway Traffic Safety Administration Guidelines. Additionally, their Quality Assurance program is THE nationally recognized accreditation program for the Adaptive Mobility Equipment Industry.

I've never been a caregiver for someone with a disability, but my mom works as a CNA, so I've heard her talk about some of the difficulties, especially regarding transportation. I know she's cared for a lot of elderly people who had lost their independence because they had no transportation; it's nice to know there's an organization like NMEDA who can help people in those situations. It's especially nice because I know there are plenty of unscrupulous people who would sell vehicles personally or over the Internet, and those vehicles may not be 100% safe. It's difficult enough to judge if an average vehicle is safe, or if you're being ripped off; I can only image how difficult it would be to try to discern if an adapted vehicle is safe or not.

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Geile Leon. All opinions are 100% mine.

When my father was berating me about my trip to England, he started listing all sorts of places closer by that I haven't been to, and asked why I didn't go there instead. He doesn't know the trip is centered around a certain band -- he'd be even more pissed! I just shrugged and said I'd never really been interested in anywhere near home.

Although I do have to admit it's slightly tempting to take a more luxurious vacation somewhere close by. I could go a couple of states away and for around $300 spend two nights at the Hilton Promenade at Branson Landing or Hilton Branson Convention Center Hotel. They have this "Fall In The City" package that includes show tickets, dinner, attractions, etc. Or there's a shopping package, and they do have the Tanger Outlet Mall there, and god knows I love to shop. I could run away to Missouri for a few days and spend all my spare cash, not worrying about pinching pennies or train fares or how to pay rent when I got back. I could go to lakes and theaters and museums and still be in my little American comfort zone.

Too bad I already have a plane ticket. And a couple of concert tickets. And an obsession. Oh, who am I kidding, I wouldn't take Branson over England. But it does look like a fun place if you don't have an obsession with Morten Harket.

(Sponsored)

Ever since my trips last month (oh crap, month before because it's freaking July already!), I've felt restless. I love my home state -- been here my entire life -- but I feel the need for adventure and change. I'm only in the very early pre-planning stages now, basically doing research; but I don't know how people moved long distances without the Internet!

For example, if you were looking for Apartments in North Carolina today, there are websites for that. Before, I guess you'd have to visit and try to find a place, or trust a friend to find you somewhere decent -- or even worse, go on the basis of phone calls with landlords and hope for the best. That would totally freak me out! I'm part of the spoiled internet generation -- I can't imagine taking something on like that without googling Apartment in Durham, NC or something.

North Carolina isn't actually where I'm thinking of moving, but I'm sure there's an equivalent of http://www.nc-apartments.com for Los Angeles!

(A sponsored post.)

(Sponsored.)

When I was living with my aunt and cousins, working as their nanny, one of my least favorite parts of that was the fact that my cousin had a piano. Or, to be more accurate, the fact that her piano was in the living room, which was directly above my room, and she liked to practice before school. At which point I would've probably just gone to bed. Ah, those were the days.

Even though I hated that piano, I'd sometimes play around on it when nobody else was home. I never took piano lessons, even though my dad taught me to read music when I was five. I had an electronic keyboard, which my parents soon regretted when I discovered I could play "Silent Night" on an electronic violin setting. Last my dad bought me an electric organ, which I thought was super cool--it had twice as many annoying instruments! But I still couldn't play with both hands, and had a hard time remembering the keys. I think it's because at that point I'd started playing the clarinet, which is in a different key, and my little brain just couldn't handle it. Wonder where that thing went anyway.

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Alvin and the Chipmunks. All opinions are 100% mine.

A few months ago, I was driving by a movie theater and saw two words on a movie marquee: "The Squeakquel". I called my mom and was all, "I just saw the weirdest thing. WTF is a squeakquel?"

Yeah, I had no idea there was an Alvin & the Chipmunks movie, let alone a "squeakquel". I'm so clueless. I only knew it as the cute little cartoon from when I was a kid--David screaming "ALLLLLVINNNNNNN!!!" and the little song at the beginning: "Alvin-Simon, The-o-dore!"

Anybody who's read my server blog knows how I feel about kids--namely that they're noisy and gooey and not something I like. So even once I knew of the existence of said Squeakquel, I didn't see it. I don't actually know much about the movie itself, but I do remember the Chipmunks being adorable and fun when I was a kid. So now that you can buy it now on DVD, Blu-ray (I still don't quite know what the point of Blu-ray is, personally), and as a digital download, I'm sure it's a great addition to a family's movie collection. The DVD double pack comes with something called "The Squeak Along"--which I'll be honest, sounds like pure hell to me, but also like the kind of thing kids would totally dig. I bet there'd be some delightful screeching if I bought it for my youngest cousin.

You can also get your kids involved in More Munk Mayhem, stuff like making a chipmunk version of themselves and stuff. Okay, that part's kinda cute!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of 20th Century Fox. All opinions are 100% mine.

I admit, I'm not usually a fan of Tina Fey. Her Sarah Palin impression was pretty hilarious, but the rest of the time, eh, not so much. Steve Carell, on the other hand, cracks my shit up. So, even though I don't have a date, I might go see their Date Night Movie" anyway. It looks pretty funny:



(Wasn't that the guy from Pineapple Express in there? Yes, yes it was. Okay, curiosity sated.)

What's not to love about a movie with a shootout, a car chase, a strip club, and a mob boss, and Steve Carell screaming "KILL SHOT! THAT'S A KILL SHOT!" (From a different commercial, that, but it just makes me giggle, not actually sure why.) The movie opens April 9th, which, hey, that's this weekend! Opening weekend is a great time to see a movie--am I being too subtle here? What, are you going to stay home and watch that stupid teenage vampire movie again or something?

Oh, wait. Uh, that's me, which the obsession and stuff. Anyway. Funny people, funny looking movie, comes out this weekend. Grab some popcorn and go watch Tiny Fey pretend she's the new girl at the strip club (but she doesn't really have gum).

(Sponsored)

One of my favorite chick-lit books, Confessions of a Shopaholic, features the main character going luggage shopping and feeling as if she's entered an entire new world of things to buy. It always kind of made me laugh, because how often do you even look at your luggage? I have a sturdy blue suitcase somewhere--I say somewhere because I don't know if it's at my dad's current house, our old house, or with my mother. I haven't seen it in years. I just don't think about luggage, I suppose because I so rarely travel anywhere that actually requires it.

I guess it could be kind of fun though--there's some Vera Bradley luggage that's actually sort of pretty. And there's some kind of hot Hartmann luggage in a red crocodile that I like. Not that I can remotely afford it, of course! But someday .... someday, I'll have a matching set of luggage, and trips to take it on, and a couch that doesn't have huge patches of exposed foam on the arms from my cats, and .... someday!

Enough dreaming, time for me to get to work!

(Sponsored post.)

As I've complained many times before, I have a ridiculous amount of general stuff. Some of it I'm going to eventually get around to selling on ebay--clothes I've never worn, stuff like that. Other stuff I'll just toss--do I really need that battered Nike shoebox I've been dragging around since high school, and have never properly emptied and sorted out? And some I don't know what to do with. Like a metal cookie tin my mom gave me ages ago, that I don't keep anything in, that's not worth selling on ebay, and probably wouldn't sell at Goodwill, but I don't want to toss it.

What we need is a free stuff repository--and hey, there is one! Lista.com has a headline of "auctions for free stuff"--which confused me at first. Turns out it's run on a system of credits, and you get credits for joining, for listing stuff, etc. So basically to keep getting credits you have to take part in the marketplace, giving away your own stuff, and then you get credits to "buy" other peoples' stuff. I should pass this along to a girl I work with--she had a baby a week ago, and they have a whole section of free baby stuff.

Right now, you can get 100 credits just for signing up and getting started. Neato!

(Oodelally, oodelally, golly what a sponsored post. I've been watching clips of Robin Hood on Youtube.)

My dad's a car guy, so there are some things I don't have to worry about. If my car needs an oil change, he takes it for the afternoon. I don't really even know what a tune up involves, honestly. Okay, I do now after reading that page, but I didn't before. It's convenient, but also somewhat frustrating--because I'm a curious person, and whenever I ask my dad a car question, the answer I get it usually, "You wouldn't understand if I told you anyway." Thanks, Dad. So the ghetto little Acura Integra I'm driving sounds like it's about fall apart, and I have no idea why. Excellent!

While I'm near home, it's not really a problem. But if I move away, or if I'm on vacation, and something is wrong .... what then? Will I just have to google something like Houston auto repair on my phone and hope I don't get ripped off? It's a bit annoying. But I've pretty much given up on getting him to explain things at this point. On the rare occasions he does answer my questions, he makes sure to throw in as much technical jargon as he can until my get a blank look on my face .... and then he laughs.

Really I think it's because he wants to feel needed. I think he worries that if I were to actually be educated about vehicles he'd hear from me less, or something. Or he just enjoys annoying me, that could totally be it too.

(Quick sponsored post!)

One of the most annoying things about getting a new--or new-to-you--car is getting insurance. It's especially obnoxious if you've lost your license for any reason. A few years ago my mom lost her license (I don't even remember why), and had to pay for that SR-22 insurance or whatever it is. If you have any sort of poor driving record, you can feel royally screwed. But even just getting straight auto insurance is a big pain in the rear--especially if you're trying to get student car insurance and have zero idea what you're doing. I'm pretty sure the Geico agent I talked to when I first started college thought I was hilariously ignorant!

I guess that's why there's such a huge market for websites like AmericanCarQuotes. They have an index of different insurance carriers in your area--which is another thing I remember being a pain when I last tried to get insurance, not everyone is available everyone. Having a one-stop area to find a company that's near you and offers the type of insurance you're after can be a real assert.

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Charter Communication. All opinions are 100% mine.

Ah, the infamous Black Friday, the day that makes retail slaves tremble in horror and glee. The day that exhausts many a shopper in search of ridiculous bargains. My old mall opened at 10p.m. Thanksgiving night and was open for 24 hours straight. (shudder) Apparently the Monday after is called "Cyber Monday", which I didn't know until now, but I guess it makes sense that people who go online to look for stuff they couldn't get in the stores.

I'm too broke for that to mean much to me--nobody's getting anything from me this year except a hug. Too bad Charter doesn't offer services in my area--because I could totally do all my shopping if I got a $200 gift card to somewhere. I already pay for Internet and stuff, if Charter were in my area I could go to Charter’s Daily Deal Web Site, switch my services over, and get a gift card to do my holiday shopping with. At least, I could do that this weekend. From Cyber Monday onward I could win stuff for me--like a box set of Showtime's "Dexter" or "Big Love" from HBO. I'm a year behind on that, come to think of it!

If you're interested, you can also become a fan of Charter on Facebook to see what their daily specials are. They've got a lot of stuff to give away between now and Christmas, it's worth taking a look at!

(Hello friends! Today we have another sponsored post!)

(We've already talked about penis jewelry this week--now it's lingerie time!)

I used to feel stupid wearing lingerie--not only because I'm a fat girl, but because all the lace and stuff just seemed weird and goofy. And utterly impractical--I mean, once you put on a crotchless, cup-free teddy, how long are you really going to be wearing it? Why spend the money?

Oh, wait. Because it's freaking fun. I don't really need to go in to details, do I? We all know exactly how fun. And occasionally practical, too. I nearly bought a garter belt the other day, just to have one, because I detest tights and pantyhose. The tights I wore with my Halloween costume are the first ones I've worn in .... hell, I don't even remember how long. But a garter belt and some nice thigh-highs? Much more comfortable, and it's just plain hot, even if I don't have anybody to wear sexy garter belts for anymore.

(A little holiday cheer, I mean sponsored post. But it's the best kind, chock-full of family insanity.)

As anyone who reads my blog would know, I am terminally strapped for cash. It's not as bad right now as it has been in the past, though. About five years ago I was actually completely unemployed for the first time since I started working--I got fired from Wal-Mart the day after quitting my old job. I'm actually still a little bitter about that; I was sick, and had documentation from my physician of two separate visits; I was told by HR that I wouldn't get fired; and then the bitch pharmacy manager canned me. This was less than a month after my parents had split up, too.

Anyway, the point is I was jobless and freaked out about it. A few days after this I was asked what I wanted for Christmas, and my sarcastic, shitty answer was "Food." Little did I know that my aunt would take that literally. Christmas Day, she sat in front of me a giant box of random food. I don't even remember what all was in it, other than some cheese, I think a salami, and a box of macaroni and cheese--and I only remember the box of Velveeta Shells & Cheese because it was a month past its expiration date, and my ex and I had a fight about if it was safe to eat. He's got a thing about expiration dates. I basically ate it out of spite--healthy, right?

But the funny thing about that box of food, you know, my "Christmas present"? ..... everything in it was expired. Yes, my aunt gave me a big fat box of expired crap she'd just cleaned out of her pantry and freezer. I think that box of mac and cheese was the only thing I ate.

I should've been more specific, I suppose, and said I wanted a prepaid debit card or something. Not that I could've predicted a pantry-cleaning-comme-Christmas-present. But it would've been a lot more useful--and, uh, less miserly--to give me a card like that. Then I could've just tromped off to the grocery store with my prepaid Mastercard and bought food that a) wasn't two years out of date and b) I actually liked.

So if somebody you know is unemployed and depressed, and you think about giving them a box of food .... seriously, take the prepaid credit card route instead. Please.

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Jones Soda. All opinions are 100% mine.

And when I say that, I'm including the dirt my mom says I ate when I was three.

As a poster for Izea, I received a "postie pack": the turkey hat my dog is so adorably modeling, and a bottle of Tofurky and Gravy Jones Soda . I freaking love the hat--I'm so wearing it on Thanksgiving. It was a hit at work, too--my coworkers always love a reason to laugh at me.

The soda, though .... well, my first thought when I saw it was "Dear god, WHY?" Still, I was excited to try it, even though I was sure it wasn't going to be pleasant. I debated as to if it would be better warm or cold--cold it would have less flavor, but turkey and gravy are warm foods. I decided room temperature might be best, and after the dinner rush I cracked open the bottle.

I poured a bit into a soda glass, and while my coworkers looked on it disgust, I bravely took the first sip. The taste didn't hit me right away--it fact, I'd say it has less taste and more aftertaste. And when that aftertaste hit me, it was terrible! The taste stuck to my upper palate and I couldn't get rid of it for hours. It literally gave me a headache it was so bad. It had a delicate taste of old gravy, mixed with the tingly popping of carbonation--and then there was a weird funk that I'm unsure if it was the tang of tofu or what, but I was tasting and smelling the stuff for hours. It took gargling, drinking a lot of diet soda, and finally a chocolate dessert to overcome to taste.

Several other people tried it and all had about the same reaction. One person actually took a second sip, which astounded me. Most people, though, would sniff it and refuse to even try it. Freakin' pansies!

Really, it was fun to try--even if I did feel like gagging for several hours afterward. Maybe my grandfather's vegan girlfriend would like it.

(I'm being paid to promote penis jewelry. I think that's awesome.)

Come on, you know you want to check it out. You know you're curious about Penis Jewelry.

(A brief sponsored post.)

I don't know, but if you're looking for sql server backup, there you go.

(A message from good old DirecTV.)

When I was about five, my family had satellite television. Of course, that was 1986, so that meant we had an absolutely giant satellite dish in our back yard. Now that I think about it, it couldn't have been all that big, but I was little, so it seemed that way. I remember wanting to crawl up in it and sit.

I'm glad dishes now are much smaller--and cheaper. My current dish is small enough I can pick it up and carry it around if needed. My dad's is even smaller; he has satellite Directv at his house, which is up in the mountains, and his service has been great. I think he's had to brush the snow off the dish once or twice, but it's still a lot clearer reception than I would have expected up in the hills.

My service at home is different, but my dad does seem to have a lot more channels with Direct TV than I have here. Of course, he's probably got one of their fancy sports packages, and I know he's got Showtime and HBO too. I've thought about switching, but my current service is just awfully forgiving of my irregular payment history (plus I used to work for them, so I have some residual loyalty!). But if you're looking for a good satellite TV package, including HD channels, then based on my experiences with my dad's service DirectTV is worth checking out.

(A sponsored post.)

One reason I'm glad I don't think I'll ever get married is because of the sheer amount of scheduling and arranging and details and stuff. I've seen enough people go through insane stress over floor charts, dress fittings, caterers, etc. etc. If I ever do decide to get married, it'll be a limited affair for sure.

One thing that I don't think will be an issue regardless of wedding size is what shoes to wear. I'd wear something really simple, because if you have a traditional wedding dress, nobody can see your fancy bridal shoes anyway. Of course, I have a hard time walking in heels! I also wouldn't necessarily do plain white shoes--maybe some bright blue or saucy red shoes. Oooh, or some super saucy shiny copper shoes! Zappos has some really cute wedding shoes, both flats and heels--I actually want some of them just to have them to wear normally. Like a nice pair of purple heels.

This is why I don't browse stuff online often--I just get a severe case of jealousy. Even though I'm not looking for shoes for a bride, I'm impressed with Zappos' selection of shoes. Everything from white to red to black to dyeable, in flats and heels and sandals and slippers. They're even in their own category--"bridal shoes". I didn't know that was a category, I guess I thought women just went and bought non-specific shoes.

That's the second new thing I've learned today (the first was that someone I've known for over a year used to be engaged). Quelle surprise.