I love this man. And I've had this song stuck in my head for about a week because of this video. If I ever stop listening to non-stop a-ha, I'm going to look up more Vicious Pink.
Poor hiring decisions.
11 years ago
I have a list of songs I fall asleep to, followed by a repeating mp3 of ocean waves that works great as white noise. Last night, I actually went to bed before dawn - no way! - but I kept waking up and falling asleep.
Several times, I found myself having woken up without really realizing it, and I was just listening to my music. And it sounded so weird. I thought it was because I was half-asleep, maybe; but it sounded like part of the track was missing, or like the vocals were unusually clear. I kept rolling over and pulling my little ipod speaker closer to try to determine what sounded different. And then I'd think, "what the fuck am I doing, I need to be sleeping" and would stop.
But today, stuff still sounds strange! It's really bugging me, because these are songs I've listened to an insane number of times. Some of them I've probably listened to once a day for the last five years. And I can't even put my finger on what sounds different, exactly.
I'm way too bothered by little things, aren't I!
I've been trying to find another job -- I really, really want to go to Europe -- but so far, no luck. Had two interviews after which I didn't get hired -- one was at a company I used to work for, doing a job I used to do! -- and another that called me for an interview but it was for an emergency position. Something with no guaranteed hours and no guaranteed shifts isn't going to work for me; as much as I hate waitressing, it is my full time job and it's not like I could just tell them to fuck off because this other place suddenly needed me on a Friday night.
And then I've gotten rejection letters on seven other jobs. I know it's a rough job market, so I'm trying not to get discouraged. I did feel really sorry for myself after the place I used to work for turned me down though, and then I got pissed. It was a call center, and when I worked there before I always got perfect scores on my random quality assurance tests. There was no reason for them not to hire me other than I think the female interviewer didn't like me. The guy seemed to.
I'll keep looking, though; I think I'm going to end up with a second restaurant job, though, at this point. Which I guess is okay. It's only for a few months anyway until I run off to chase you-know-who around Europe for a while!
(A sponsored post.)
I love my sofa. It's purple, which of course was a major factor in purchasing it. It's also textured fabric which I thought wouldn't hold on to cat hair so much. HA! I haven't scraped the hair off it in two days so right now it looks gray because the hair sticks to it like no other. Sometimes I wish I'd gotten the faux-leather reclining sofa I looked at instead just because of that.
Of course, it's probably a good thing I didn't because in the last six years my cats have managed to claw the arms of my couch down through the foam to the wood. Not while I'm here of course--they're smart enough to do it while I'm gone! Bastard kitties.
Eventually I'm going to have to get a new couch; although I think I'll get a slipcover for this one for the foreseeable future. I'm broke, after all -- and assuming I do come up with money, I'll be blowing it on a trip to Europe! Eventually, though, I would like to have a nice reclining sofa with maybe a matching love seat or chair -- you know, grown-up furniture instead of the random collection of stuff I've currently cobbled together.
And a house to put it in. That might be important.
This month has been an utter clusterfuck. I had to pay my rent late--like way late. And then my checking account was overdrawn because of it, so I had to pay fees on that. After my Sunday shift, I finally had enough to cover that and one other thing that was coming out yesterday.
Or so I thought.
My fucking bank apparently decided to push through two more things that were pending in the early afternoon--so now I'm $130 in the hole AGAIN. So now I have to make $130 to cover that, $110 for my phone bill, $682 for rent, and whatever else to keep myself and my animals fed and put gas in my car. It's not going to fucking happen.
It's only $60 but coming on the heels of everything else, it's a major fucking setback. I've paid $250 in late/overdraft fees this month because of shit like this. I'm working as hard as I can and I can't catch up. I'm so tired of this. I just want to give up. If I didn't have animals to take care of, I might just curl up in my bed and not get out ever again. Just lie there and sleep until someone physically removes me.
Yeah, I'm being melodramatic. But I've been crying so hard I can hardly breathe for half an hour, and I thought if I focused on writing it out it might help. It's not.
And the cranky neighbors will be gone! Found out yesterday that they're moving. As are the people in half of the other building. I kind of hope that the management company can't find anyone to rent the one next to me, at least ... not having neighbors is so much more convenient! I'm not entirely surprised they're leaving--they've had electrical problems the entire time, and apparently mice too. Add me and my annoying music/dogs and ... well ... I WIN! HAHAHA!
Now, if I can just make the rest of June's rent money this weekend, I'll hopefully just barely be able to make July's rent by the 1st, and hopefully this unit won't be vacant too!
I live in a duplex, and my neighbors have a dog. My bigger dog is very protective, and goes nuts any time they let their dog out. She also will bark when he's just at the back door. So tonight I let her out, and after a few minutes she starts barking. I rush to the back door and call her in, but my neighbor's jerk boyfriend is already outside--exciting her more--complaining about "every night at 2:30 this has gone on for the past four nights!"
What's gone on? Ten seconds of barking? Their dog must be whining at the door or something--which is clearly my fault, right? I have a horrible feeling they're going to complain to the property management company about me. I guess I'll have to start letting the dog out the front door at night.
A week ago, I was still in Los Angeles, a few hours away from going to the last North American a-ha concert. Since getting back from that trip, my activities have fallen in to several very narrow categories: working (a bit), sleeping (mostly), and a-ha obsessed things (all the rest of the time). The people around me think I'm insane, but I am totally depressed.
(Some of it is the fact that I thought I was happy before, but now I'm realizing I was just sort of content. I don't think I've ever, ever been as happy as I was while I was in New York. And even though I know I can't have that same feeling all the time, I want closer to it than I have now.)
But most of it ... most of it is the strange knowledge that there will be no more a-ha. No more albums; no more new songs to fall in love with; no new interviews or performances to watch on Youtube; no more chances to try to talk to Magne or sing with the crowd to "Living Daylights" or laugh at Morten forgetting the words or dance wildly to "Cry Wolf" or "wave goodbye" during "Manhattan Skyline". Their music has loomed so large in my life in the last six years that it's just difficult to even conceive of.
And yeah, I listen to other music ... but very few things really reach out and grab me like their music does. People keep trying to tell me they'll probably come back, bands do so-called farewell tours all the time ... but I don't think so with them. This probably sounds naive, but I don't think they'd toy with their fans like that--they know exactly how obsessive we are. I mean, I certainly hope I'm wrong--I'd be so stoked if they announced at their last concert that the reaction from all their fans changed their minds. But I doubt it, and it makes me a very sad panda. I have a strangely deep sense of loss, a lingering sadness, a hollow feeling now that the object of my adoration is fragmenting.
For months, I've been telling myself I just had to push through to the end of the semester. I thought once I did that, I'd feel relieved.
Instead, I feel so lost! Maybe I just can't let go of the school stress; maybe it's the financial crap; maybe the sense of loss over my retiring Norwegians. Maybe it's all of it. But I've spent most of the last three days hiding in my house, not knowing what to do with myself,
unable to focus.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
