Not for me, thank god.

First, I found out one of my aunts is getting married this month. Now, they've been "engaged" for a long time, but there's no ring and there was no date, so I think the whole family was hoping she'd change her mind.

Then, a friend of mine found an engagement ring in her boyfriend's sock drawer. She doesn't want it. She was planning on dumping him. Oops!

Lastly, my cousin got engaged. And couldn't be bothered to call me, just like her brother last year. At least with him my grandma told me; this I found out from my dad only because I mentioned my friend. Amusingly, her now-fiance called my father to ask permission, rather than her father! And my cousin did finally text me a few days later. But I still felt left out.

All of this has kind of gotten me down. Not because I want to get married--I sorta think marriage is useless, actually, and that my family is cursed so why bother. But it's gotten me down because I'm 27 and I haven't accomplished anything according to societal markers since graduating high school. Most of the time it doesn't bother me, but occasionally .... occasionally I start listing all the things I've "failed" at. I'm still a waitress, I haven't finished college, I'm not married with kids (not that I want kids), I don't own a car, I don't own a house, I'm still fat.

Okay, I do have an associate's degree, but that's useless and I graduated on accident anyway so I forget I even have it. And I did have a "real" job for one year, and it's not my fault I got laid off, but I just sort of stumbled into it and it didn't feel like a "real" job anyway. I don't even have a boyfriend even if I did have a jonesing for a wedding. Plenty of people don't own a house. And I do technically own a car, but my dad gave it to me, I didn't buy it, so it's not the same. As for the fat thing, I think that's only in there because when I was younger I was so certain that someday, when I had all those things, I'd also have less adipose tissue.

But why do I care? I'm not really sure. Like I said, a lot of times it doesn't bother me. I've had horrible times and great times; I've visited places and done stuff. I guess every once in a while I can't help seeing myself through the eyes of society, though. As if "society" really gives a damn what I've accomplished anyway!

2 Responses
  1. vesta44 Says:

    Actually, if you're happy with your life, I don't think it should matter what society thinks you should have accomplished.
    Hell, I'm 55 and didn't get married until 2 1/2 years ago. I've owned a house and a mobile home, and neither of those experiences were what I really wanted. I did manage to have a child (without benefit of marriage) and I raised him alone (and while I'm proud of him and love him heaps, that's not something I would recommend for other single women). I've had a lot of different jobs in my lifetime, some were good, some were awful, and I learned from all of them (some I was very successful at, some not so much). All in all, I can look back at my life and say that there really isn't anything I would change in it, it's been a good life, with ups and downs. But has it been a successful life according to what society thinks? Not a chance in hell, and I don't care. I've enjoyed it, hated it, lived it, wished I was dead through parts of it, and every bit of it has contributed to the person I am today, and I like that person. That is what matters most, I think.

  2. purplegirl Says:

    Oh, most of the time don't give a damn and am perfectly happy with the things I know I've accomplished. It's just every once in a while I feel down about it--stupid weddings seem to be a trigger, actually.