As we were pulling in to the Wal Mart parking lot tonight, a very large man came out and started across the crosswalk. My dad and grandma were in the front seat, and I was in the back. My grandma did her usual "LOOK OUT FOR THAT MAN!" thing, because of course no one else can drive; and my dad said he saw him.

And then he added "Jesus Christ, look at that fat fucking slob." Or something along those lines, I forget the exact words. But it pissed me off.

"You have a fat person in the back seat, you know. Don't be nasty." I started. I guess I was a little more vehement than I realized, because my dad sounded sort of surprised when he said "Okay, okay, calm down." My slightly-less-than-with-it grandma hijacked the conversation with some random observation or story or something at that point, so I didn't end up launching into a full-on fat acceptance speech ... but it was right on the tip of my tongue.

I think my dad assumes, like most people do, that I'm perpetually on a diet/thinking about a diet/worrying about being on a diet/whatever. I think he assumes that I think I'm a thin person who just looks fat right now. I don't think he realizes that not only do I look fat, I feel fat (in the way of "this is how I am", not the "OMGGGGGGG I'm such a whale!" way), and I identify as fat. And I'm okay with that. So when he calls some random person walking down the street a "fat fucking slob", I basically think he thinks that about me.

Thanks to my grandma being ... well, herself, I didn't get that far. But I'm sure it'll come up again.

4 Responses
  1. the Fat Lady Says:

    I have SO been there. I had to have a knock-down, shout-over-the-top-of-him fight with my dad, basically "I deal with this shit every day from complete strangers, I do NOT need it at home", before he *got* it.

  2. purplegirl Says:

    Yeah, I think if my grandma hadn't gone off on a rant we might've gone there. Of course, he's one of those "I don't mean YOU!" people. Sigh.

  3. the Fat Lady Says:

    In a car one day, my friend leans out the window and shouts, "oink oink" at a lady about my size. I pulled over, slapped him on the back of the head. He says, "WHAT?!? Oh... But I don't think of YOU that way!"

    I said to him, "that IS me. Do you know how often some shithead in a ute abuses me on the street? Every day. EVERY day. Do you have any idea how bad her day just got?"

    He looked at me and I could see the gears turning. Then he got out of the car, caught up with the lady, got down on one knee and apologised. She walked on with a smile on her face, I drove home trying not to cry, and he's never done it since.

    One of the best moments of my life.

  4. purplegirl Says:

    That is completely awesome. Good for you, teaching your friend a lesson! And good for him, too, to be able to learn it.