So I've been trying to find more work shirts, which is surprisingly difficult. I'm supposed to wear a plain black polo with no logos. The problem is that it's December, and nobody has short-sleeved shirts. Waitressing in a long sleeves is so not going to happen--I overheat as it is.

I tried Lane Bryant again today, and after about an hour of trying on different things that I knew weren't going to work, and trying on some other stuff, I was about to give up. One of the sales staff asked what I was looking for, and it turned out they did have exactly one thing that fit the bill. Sort of. I'd tried it on before, a couple of months ago, and I didn't like it. I'm not a big fan of rouching, at least not on my boobs--making them look smaller just makes my stomach look bigger. And that's what rouching does, create the illusion that the fabric is puffy, not what's underneath.

But, I'm pretty much desperate. I have four good work shirts, and I've been working eight shifts a week over five or six days. I don't have a washer and dryer yet, and my backup work shirts are increasingly hated. Once or twice I've rocked a plain v-neck t-shirt, and I haven't gotten reamed for it, but I can't do that too often. So I bought two of these shirts, and I wore one to work tonight.

Almost everybody there when I arrived said they liked it, and that they liked my earrings. I said I felt like it was too revealing because it's got a lower neckline than my usual polos; one of the girls told me I was just trying to make better tips. I laughed and acted like I was going to pull my shirt open ... because at that point I didn't realize the buttons were real snaps, I thought they were just decorative, so imagine my surprise when I pulled my shirt open in front of a bunch of coworkers. :) Luckily, it's only a couple inches' worth of an opening, and my bra was black anyway, and they were all women, so it wasn't too embarrassing.

A little while later, someone else arrived. She and I sort of got off on the wrong foot anyway; she took something I said as being snotty rather than expressing admiration. Anyway, we've been mostly okay now, but not overly friendly. So I'm standing next to her and she turns around, takes one look at me, and says "WHOA." I laughed and asked what, and she said "Your shirt is really ...(vague GIANT TITTIES gesture)". I forget what else she said, but it made me all self-conscious.

I asked three different people if they thought my shirt was inappropriate before I thought ... why the fuck was I doing that? The shirt isn't low-cut; you can't see even a hint of cleavage. I admit that the rouching and sparkly buttons between the boobs do draw a bit of attention--but it's nothing obscene. There's minimal skin showing, it's not tight across the bust, it's not sheer fabric. It's a goddamn black cotton polo with sparkly fucking buttons.

Why was I letting myself get hung up on it? I have boobs, fairly large ones. They're the same size regardless of if there are sparkly buttons between them or not. I would wear this shirt around my grandmother, my father, and anyone else. So why was I letting this one chick's snarky comment make me feel uncomfortable and like I was being "bad"? Why was I walking around feeling like I should slump and try to minimize myself? Why was I engaging in any sort of body shame?

Still, I have a nagging feeling that the managers aren't going to approve. That wasn't helped by a random, drunken-sounding phone call from a different coworker, saying happy birthday and she thought I looked hot. So what do you all think? Is this inappropriate? Am I going to offend lower middle-class people who come in to a chain restaurant? Maybe scar some poor innocent children out for chicken strips? Will my Chesticles of Doom bring about the end of BigChainRestaurant? Or is this chick just jealous because her funbags are currently a dairy center?