While discussing my school situation, and specifically the fact that he thinks it's my mother's fault (hello, I was 23, it was and is my own damn fault) ....
"If you were a male child I would have taken you out back and whipped your ass for being a fuck-up."
Thanks Dad.
The thing is, he says things like that and doesn't understand why they hurt. To him, that's an entirely hypothetical statement. Since I wasn't born male, none of the rest of it applies. In his mind, he's not saying I am a fuck-up; he's saying that if I had been a boy, then he'd consider me a fuck-up. Since I'm not, I'm his little girl and the only woman he truly loves and will always take care of, and he's proud of me for the things that I have accomplished.
Still, it gets exhausting decoding his meanings, and it still hurts.
That seems really really double-standardy. Was he drunk when he said this to you? :(
Nope, he was sober. If he were drunk I would've just rolled my eyes and forgotten it. But he was sober, and said my mother abandoned me and should have known my life was turning in to a mess. I asked my he shouldn't have know, and that was his response.