For my creative writing class, I have to write a twelve page story. I started out with something, but was told the subject wasn't appropriate for the assignment. So I started over. I decided to write a sort of fat acceptance journey story, but it's a little more difficult than I thought--mainly because I'm having to put myself back in to a self-hating mindset to write the beginning.

It's really triggering. I'm looking at my stretch marks and hating them; I'm feeling like my stomach is disgusting; I'm feeling depressed. And then there's an aspect that's not so awful: recalling that great post-workout feeling, remembering how interesting it was to run my hands over my body and feel a new, weird shape emerging.

But of course, the end result is an urge to diet, and an urge to hate myself. I should've chosen a different story topic.

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