At work today I kept getting dizzy spells. The first one was really bad, probably a good 30 seconds long. It felt like when you're underwater and sort of floating, where under your eyes feels kind of weird, you know? Or maybe you don't. Maybe I'm nuts.

Anyway, they kept up for a couple of hours--during the lunch rush, of course--which made things interesting. I don't know what it was about; I'm pretty sure I was decently hydrated. I'd had a bit of an omelette (how the hell do you spell that?), and my protein shake. It was just random.

Eventually I started feeling better. I did feel sleepy after work--I usually do in the afternoons--but I didn't fall asleep even though I watched an episode of "House" and stretched out on my bed for about fifteen minutes. A couple of weeks ago, I'd've passed out until about eight o'clock, woken up still tired, and accomplished nothing. Instead, I stayed awake. I've done a sinkful of dishes and studied for my exams tomorrow, fairly successfully I think. Time will tell, I suppose.

Although not if I don't go to bed soon, Big Trouble will ensue if I sleep through my exams tomorrow. I may actually sleep on my couch with the television on so it's harder for me to fall back asleep when my alarm goes off. I hate having to play tricks like that with myself, but I've slept through my alarm/turned it off in my sleep/blatantly been a dumbass about it too many times in the past not to worry. If I just hop into bed and try to trust I'll wake up, I won't sleep at all. There's a part of me that's tempted to just stay up for the next five hours killing time and then go to my exams ... but if I do that I'll be so ridiculously brain dead I needn't have bothered studying at all.

To get back to anything food or fat related ... I did briefly entertain the idea of having something carb-o-riffic for lunch, namely citrus teriyaki boneless "wings" and fries, or maybe a sandwich .... but it wasn't all that tempting, really. I did snag one French fry from someone, and it was good, but I didn't feel the need for more. It's very interesting, this experience of not constantly craving one thing or another. I don't want to poke at it, for fear of breaking it ... I already feel like I'm going to wake up one day and it'll just be gone. I'm hoping not. I'm hoping a combination of taking almost whole year off from any thought of restriction, and truly accepting myself as a Fatty McFatterson and being happy that way, and not trying to adhere to some strict "Diet" regulation .... I'm hoping all of that will allow me to continue, for the most part, not wanting the insulin-raising junk I used to crave all the time.

1 Response
  1. Hope the dizziness goes away, that sounds creepy.

    And good luck on exams--hope you got at least a little bit of sleep!