(A little holiday cheer, I mean sponsored post. But it's the best kind, chock-full of family insanity.)

As anyone who reads my blog would know, I am terminally strapped for cash. It's not as bad right now as it has been in the past, though. About five years ago I was actually completely unemployed for the first time since I started working--I got fired from Wal-Mart the day after quitting my old job. I'm actually still a little bitter about that; I was sick, and had documentation from my physician of two separate visits; I was told by HR that I wouldn't get fired; and then the bitch pharmacy manager canned me. This was less than a month after my parents had split up, too.

Anyway, the point is I was jobless and freaked out about it. A few days after this I was asked what I wanted for Christmas, and my sarcastic, shitty answer was "Food." Little did I know that my aunt would take that literally. Christmas Day, she sat in front of me a giant box of random food. I don't even remember what all was in it, other than some cheese, I think a salami, and a box of macaroni and cheese--and I only remember the box of Velveeta Shells & Cheese because it was a month past its expiration date, and my ex and I had a fight about if it was safe to eat. He's got a thing about expiration dates. I basically ate it out of spite--healthy, right?

But the funny thing about that box of food, you know, my "Christmas present"? ..... everything in it was expired. Yes, my aunt gave me a big fat box of expired crap she'd just cleaned out of her pantry and freezer. I think that box of mac and cheese was the only thing I ate.

I should've been more specific, I suppose, and said I wanted a prepaid debit card or something. Not that I could've predicted a pantry-cleaning-comme-Christmas-present. But it would've been a lot more useful--and, uh, less miserly--to give me a card like that. Then I could've just tromped off to the grocery store with my prepaid Mastercard and bought food that a) wasn't two years out of date and b) I actually liked.

So if somebody you know is unemployed and depressed, and you think about giving them a box of food .... seriously, take the prepaid credit card route instead. Please.

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