Fahrfugkuger is not pretty. She has a big bald spot on her roof and paint peeling off her hood. She's a total mom mobile--a maroon hatchback four door sausage on wheels. Manual windows, manual locks; no CD player; no sunroof; her steering wheel doesn't adjust. Fahrfugkuger is the most stripped-down, basic 1993 Ford Escort imaginable. After driving an SUV for the last eight months, I feel like I'm shooting down the road in a hockey puck or something. The seats aren't terribly comfortable, and I'm not overly thrilled with driving a manual again. She's ugly, and not fun to drive, and hence I've named her Fahrfugkuger.

However, Fahrfugkuger has a small gas tank, only 12 gallons. It cost my only $28 to fill her up last night, and on her last tank of gas she went 394 miles. I can live with it.

(Watch this clip at 2:55 and you'll see what I say every time I get in my car. Yeah, I know Fahrfugkuger isn't what she's really saying!)