I'm not really sure what's going on with me the last week or so; I've been doing a lot of emotional eating. I don't know why I'm freaking out so much lately; I had a half-hour long panic attack today at my dad's, and I don't even know what triggered it. I've been feeling very despondent and miserable a lot, and sometimes just felt numb. WTF?

Anyway, because of this, I haven't been paying hardly any attention to whether or not my food choices were healthy. I haven't actually been eating to try to soothe my feelings, which is improvement; I'm more been uncaring and eating whatever sounded good at whatever point in time. Some days I've been okay, other days not so much. Right now, I really want to order pizza. I don't even know if anywhere is open. And I shouldn't spend the money either. This is entirely emotionally-based eating; I am hungry. My dad made a sort of doctored hamburger helper for dinner, which was okay but not very filling--I didn't eat much because of the noodles. I had some of the stew he had going, but not much--after he told me the meat was bear and rattlesnake ground together, I sort of lost my appetite for it. Which I know is dumb.

At any rate, I am actually hungry, and a bit short on foodstuffs as I haven't gone to the grocery story. Peanut butter actually sounds better than pizza. But that would require getting dressed, going out in to the cold, and going to the story. I think laziness is going to triumph over hunger.

I'm trying to remember what I had to eat yesterday. I remember what I ate at work, but not before that. Hmm. Mindsuck.