Several times in the last few weeks, I've had another waitress' tables confuse me with her. I don't mean they've just asked me for something I walked by; I mean they've continued conversations they had with the other girl. And we look nothing alike. She's a little taller than me, and her face is a little thinner. I have very blonde hair, she has very brown hair. We don't even wear our hair in the same style. I have blue eyes, she has brown. Our faces aren't at all similar, neither are our voices.
The only physical similarity between us is we're both fat. We're approximately the same size, although she carries her weight differently than I do. It used to happen at my old restaurant, too, with a girl with green eyes and long, long, long red hair. Now, I realize that one server in jeans and a black shirt is very similar to any other ... but nobody ever mistakes me for their server when that server is slender.
On a somewhat related note, I learned long ago that my tips are better when I wear makeup. I used to think it was because it disguised the color of my face--I thought maybe I was flushing with anger when people asked me for things and this was showing my irritation despite my polite words. But in the last year or so, I've quit being quite so annoyed with people, so I don't think that's it. Nor does my makeup drastically change how I look--it's not like I'm a genius with blush shading. I don't wear lipstick. I don't even do eyeshadow or mascara. When I ask people if my makeup looks alright, they almost invariably say "What makeup? You're not wearing any makeup!"
But when I don't wear even my basic makeup, it's obvious because my skin tone is uneven. As far as the tip discrepancy, I think it's simply that if I'm not wearing makeup, I'm not conforming to "normal" beauty standards.Whatever the cause, I find my tips are generally about 5% higher when I wear makeup.
I also think I get better tips when I wear jewelry, particularly earrings. I used to think it was because the earrings made my face look less fat with my hair pulled back; now I think it's simply because the earrings are something non-uniform compared to the rest of what I have to wear at work. But still, I wonder about my original assumption, that it was because it made my face look less fat. Would I get better tips if I were thinner? I don't even mean super skinny--just not obviously "morbidly obese". If I were a size 14 instead of a 22, would people think I "deserved" their tips more?
